I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
Randomize
