I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
Randomize
