its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
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