I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
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