I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
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