Where are you?
In a non slutty way
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
Randomize