i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
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