Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
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