i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
Randomize
