I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
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