I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
Randomize
