Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
Randomize
