Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
