it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
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