remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
it glows. i had to have it.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
Randomize
