Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
Randomize