We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize
