just tell him i said nine months
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
Randomize
