Do vagina's smell?
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
Then you guys just all showered together...?
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
