You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
Randomize
