i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
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