you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
