I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
Randomize
