omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
Randomize
