holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
Randomize
