How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
Randomize
