are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
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