Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
Randomize
