What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
Randomize
