did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Randomize
