it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize