drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
Randomize
