You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
i think we sleep fucked last night...
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
Randomize
