Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
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