he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
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