my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
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