that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
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