This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
Randomize
