I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Randomize
