I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
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