I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦ðŸ¼â€â™€ï¸
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
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