An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
Btw I puked in your glovebox
Randomize
