I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
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