Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
Randomize
