That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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