worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
Randomize