I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
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