It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
