Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
even my farts smell like vagina
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
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