we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
Randomize
