Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Randomize
