epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
Randomize
