yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
I'm too high and old for this...
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
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