So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
i want to swaddle you in tequila
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Randomize
