and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
Randomize
